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User talk:JohnathanNash/Archive 1
Created archive Re: New to Wiki You're welcome, in order to avoid coding from showing up on your new stories, go intoyour preferences and switch "wikia's new visual editor" to "source editor" under the editing tab. It won't be long before you know what you're doing as well. kk* SoPretentious *ttyl 04:46, June 8, 2015 (UTC) RE: Welcome to the Wiki Hello! I'm MysteryMan49, a random user on this wiki who helps people out! If you need anything, leave a message on my talk page or an actual staff member's page (sadly, I am not staff.) Thanks for reading. You are next. 22:44, June 8, 2015 (UTC) This is the header You're welcome. The best way to help the wiki is to make a goal and set out and do everything you can in that area. For example, one day, I set out to add navigation templates to all the stories that mentioned a sequel or prequel, and it was about 150 pages. Didn't take me long at all. My work in the video game category also serves as a prime example, clear goals get the most things done. Make sure to leave headers and signatures behind on talk pages, if you don't know how, click the arrow next to "edit" then click "history" then "Compare selected revisions" and you can see how I left a signature on the bottom and a header on the top. kk* SoPretentious *ttyl 05:51, June 9, 2015 (UTC) Please post link Hey, I saw in the blog that you have a completed story for submission. As long as it was written for this contest and you apply the correct header and signature, please post the link to the story in the blog comments. Thanks, Banningk1979 (talk) 03:16, June 13, 2015 (UTC) Everything looks good Checked out your story today, everything seems good. Thanks for the entry, best of luck at judging time! Banningk1979 (talk) 21:52, June 13, 2015 (UTC) No worries I'll check it out and leave you some feedback. Banningk1979 (talk) 16:53, June 18, 2015 (UTC) Check it There are a number of stories that were on the first anthology if you want to give it a read. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:27, June 19, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:35, June 22, 2015 (UTC) :Grammar (punctuation, spelling, wording) was a portion of it, additionally the second person perspective really hiccuped in a number of places and broke immersion. Writing in second person perspective is hard and has a tendency to weaken a story rather than strengthen it. First or third would make for a stronger story and allow for some character development and emotions to bleed through. :The wolf also needs more build-up and the ending was fairly anti-climactic. I know you're making a reference to the Bray Road Beast, but there needs to be a bit more to it than just the the street name ending. (After all that wolf is pretty well-recorded/cited and even has a couple of movies based on it.) Maybe more of a backstory or epilogue. You are basing this on recorded events, why not use those accounts to the advantage of the story? EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:50, June 22, 2015 (UTC) ::I would say doing all those things would drastically change the story to the point that it wouldn't be viewed as a reupload, but a new story. (Deletion appeal is necessary for authors trying to re-instate the same story with just a few changes whereas, changing the perspective, fleshing out the monster some, playing on the historical accounts, etc would make it very different from the original. However, if you're worried about it, you can take it to the writer's workshop for feedback first. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:00, June 23, 2015 (UTC) Jay Ten (talk) 23:43, June 22, 2015 (UTC) :No problem. We just don't edit stories that heavily. We like to keep the integrity of the author's original work intact as much as possible. Just try to keep edits to things that are actual mistakes or if there's really awkward wording it's ok to make minor adjustments, but not completely rewording things. If you ever have any questions, always feel free to ask. :Jay Ten (talk) 23:57, June 22, 2015 (UTC) Re: Talk page Your talk page serves as a record/reference so it cannot/should not be blanked. When it gets too large, we can archive it, but that's when it reaches four or five pages worth of space. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:02, June 23, 2015 (UTC) :Don't worry, everyone gets warnings from time to time (Hell, I got a few myself). It's just a matter of making sure not to repeat an infraction (which is why we keep messages around for reference.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:12, June 23, 2015 (UTC) ::You can remove the welcome message, as for your message on your own page, as long as it is on the other person's talk page, it should be fine to remove. (Once again, it's a matter of having something to go back to so we can check it should the need arise.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:19, June 23, 2015 (UTC) Yosh Hey sorry for the late response. Anyways first off thanks for taking the time to read my story. Secondly, I'll be more than happy to read your story and give you a review. I can't speak of the quality of my review as I haven't really reviewed anything outside of anime to be honest but I'll give it a shot. Jd2456 (talk) 03:30, June 24, 2015 (UTC) Re: A little help please Sure. Inside there is thunder in your heart 04:09, June 24, 2015 (UTC) No problem I'll check it out tonight and leave you some feedback. Best, Banningk1979 (talk) 18:42, June 24, 2015 (UTC) RE: Realistic Story Can you link the story? I can't find it under the mountains of other posts in the WW. SBPTSAngryGermanKid (talk) 04:06, June 29, 2015 (UTC) I've reviewed your story on the comments in the WW. SBPTSAngryGermanKid (talk) 20:20, June 29, 2015 (UTC) Hey man. I'm the guy who said he wanted to make a Withdrawals narration. Here it is. http://youtu.be/0zxsd70WjfA Do with it what you will. Gingerpasta (talk) 04:22, July 7, 2015 (UTC) Re: Indian Rope Trick part 3 Sure. Inside there is thunder in your heart 02:15, July 20, 2015 (UTC) No problem I'm in the middle of grading stories for my Demon/Devil contest, but I will make some time over the next couple days to check out your revised story. Best, Banningk1979 (talk) 02:49, July 20, 2015 (UTC) No problem. I decided to read your stories because I noticed you saying in that self promotion blog that you don't promote and I figured you wanted someone to review your stories. If you want to return the favor you can take a look at The Number of Darkness and tell me what you think. You're a magician, huh? Wow, slight of hand has always fascinated me, as well as the weird culture that surrounds that art. Cool, man. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 21:32, July 25, 2015 (UTC) I can't tell you how good it is to talk to an adult and a family man. I too have a wife and two children and often I feel like either a fool or a weird old man talking to all the teeny boppers on this site. lol. Seriously, I've almost abandoned the place because of it, having thirteen year olds lecture you can get annoying. I'm going to read To the Moon right now and leave you a review. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 21:43, July 25, 2015 (UTC) Re: No problem. It sometimes takes me a bit, but I'll get around to it. Jay Ten (talk) 01:54, July 30, 2015 (UTC) RE: If that's your wish then sure! You'll have it in two days, as the review slot I have available for today and for tomorrow are already filled. I hope that won't be a problem. either way, I'll gladly do that! --"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 03:09, July 30, 2015 (UTC) I'll give it a look over I'll check it out over the next couple days and leave you some feedback. Best, Banningk1979 (talk) 05:29, July 30, 2015 (UTC) Re: Re: Lol, don't lose sleep over it. The more criticism the better. Good day to you. UNWASHED PURITY > HIGHLIGHTS OF THE SEASON 18:21, July 31, 2015 (UTC) Re Hey Hey buddy. Honestly, I could be doing a lot better. Dealing with family illness. My father is not doing well and my wife is going to have to get major surgery on her foot which is going to make me Mr. Mom for a few months. But, you know, I'm trying to stay positive. Anyway, how you doing? Anymore indoor snow storms? lol. How old are your kids, by the way? Mine are two and nine. There's also a heat wave here in southern Humboldt and the temperature has been getting up to one hundred and eight. Whoa! Hot! And there was a lightning storm the other day and there are fifty eight separate fires right now, so it is smokey, too. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking? So, yeah, I'd love to take a look at your new story. Will do as soon as I can, bro. Take care. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 17:32, August 1, 2015 (UTC) Thank you. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 00:31, August 4, 2015 (UTC) Thanks for the kind words, mate. AndrewTaylorMade1992 (talk) 02:46, August 7, 2015 (UTC) Re: Checking in We're hanging in there, thank you very much. How are you doing? You oldest should going in, what, first grade now? Getting ready for school? I'm kind of dreading it. I love the summers when the family can be together all day and we don't have to fret over dropping off and picking up. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 18:23, August 18, 2015 (UTC) Re: A Quick Favor Sure, I'll leave some feedback. SoPretentious 22:05, September 13, 2015 (UTC) Hey there Sorry for the slow response. Of course I would be more than happy to check out your story. Can you post me a link please? Banningk1979 (talk) 04:47, September 16, 2015 (UTC) I'll check it out Thanks for the link. I'll check it out and leave you some feedback. Banningk1979 (talk) 17:24, September 17, 2015 (UTC) Re Jeff I read that blog and kudos for you for saying that serious writers want to use creepypasta as a launching pad. Right? By giving so much attention to Jeff the Killer we are making ourselves look like a bunch of illiterate asses. For Christ's sake let's move on. Slenderman is huge and I don't mind riding on his coat tails a bit, but JTK? Let it go. Please, just let it go. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 23:29, September 20, 2015 (UTC) You're e-mail Okay, but what is you're E-mail adress, i can copy and paste it in the e-Mail and you can change some lines, thanks i really need help because its really difficult to write a story at first time. Pierre1987 Response I have been on a break from writing and such for a while, and I have just kicked back into gear (launched Creepweek). I will be reviewing them very shortly, and was actually reading them whilst I got your message. Due to their relatively short length, you can expect reviews very soon. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 23:27, September 24, 2015 (UTC) POTM Nominee Voice Messages is officially now a Pasta of the Month nominee for November 2015. Yes, I liked it enough to nominate it. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Creepypasta_Wiki:Pasta_of_the_Month/Nominations You did great on this story. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 00:26, September 25, 2015 (UTC) Nom It's no issue. Usually, I find a lot of watered down pseudo-horror when people ask me to review their stories. (Happy examples being the works of Banningk and Humboldt). Constructive criticism is always good, but finding a story that's also that good is a gift. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 00:46, September 25, 2015 (UTC) thanks for visiting! I don't even have a job, so I wouldn't classify myself as "well off," but maybe our definitions are different. Aheheh. My avatar is some weirdo comedian from a Gaki No Tsukai punishment game, where anyone who laughs at what they see gets physically punished. They're usually pretty funny, and they also created the Silent Library game that everyone's been ripping off for the past five years. --Mikemacdee (talk) 22:04, September 28, 2015 (UTC) Re: Hey Jonathan, I'll try and get around to reviewing your stories when I get the chance. I'm currently in my first semester of college, so you can imagine that I'm fairly busy. I may review a few shorter stories in between yours, but I've definitely got yours on my list. I'm pretty sure that I actually reviewed "To the Moon" while it was in the Writer's Workshop a few months ago. I remember it being pretty good, but a tad bit long for tastes with a lot of extraneous details (at least for me). If it's significantly changed since then, I'll review it, but I think I'll focuse on "Spirit Bottles" first. Just letting ya know I'll get around to it. Whitix (talk) 20:27, September 30, 2015 (UTC) :To answer your question on my talk page, I'm currently going to school to become a computer science major and possibly minor in mathematics. As much as I'd love to be a horror novelist, I don't see it as a reliable job, not as reliable as a computer scientist anyways, so I'll keep it as a hobby I suppose. :I've read your story, and honestly thought it was a simple cultist encounter, but the twist at the end is what really made it. The interactions between Henry and Caitlyn were very well done, and I did get a strong emotional bond between them, which helped solidify their relationship and make me emphasize with them as characters. The twist ending too, was superb, and one I did not see coming, and again, what really makes the story. :As for criticisms, it seems odd to me that these worshippers dancing in the woods were singing in some strange language, but when the apparition appears, they ask it questions in English. I suppose it could make sense (that the ritual is performed in a different tongue), and it is very helpful story-wise (although maybe not necessary; I feel Caitlyn could be confused by their dialogue, but still understand that the apparition was pointing at her). I don't know if I'd change it, but I am sort of thinking that the ritual and subsequent conversation should be performed in the same language. It doesn't really affect the story, but I thought it was worth mentioning. :One thing that is fairly difficult when someone is retelling a story is to keep the story tense. Since we know she's telling Henry the story, we know she survived the ordeal (maybe not unscathed, but survived nonetheless). Because of that, the when she's being chased by the worshippers, it sort of lacked the tension you were trying to build up, because first off, they never truly caught her, and second, that it was more of an action than creepy scene. I don't know if this would improve the story, but if she ran through the forest and saw strange things, such as more spirit bottles, apparitions, or hallucinations, I feel it would have made up for the fact that we know she'd survive the ordeal. :Finally, I feel Caitlyn's death was fairly abrupt. I expected a few more signs that she was about to go (yes she's been clearly deteriorating throughout the story, but something else, some new sign, would have helped). I also expected her to have a bit more last words, but that might be my personal taste. :That's all I've got. I hope it's satisfactory. It was a good read, definitely worth my time. If there's any specifics I didn't cover, shoot me a message back. Have a good one! Whitix (talk) 21:14, October 1, 2015 (UTC) RE: Hey there Thanks, I appreciate it! Vngel W (talk) 12:38, October 5, 2015 (UTC) Feedback Hey, I left you some feedback. Not really much to say on such a short story. It was well written and enjoyable, with a good tone and pace. Best, K. Banning Kellum (talk) 03:55, October 7, 2015 (UTC) No Problem Aye mate, I'll read it after school today. I'll leave a little review here on your talk page. -The Meta (AMarbleHornet (talk) 11:24, October 7, 2015 (UTC)) As promised... As promised, here is a small review of your story. Positive It pretty much was just as it should be: short and sweet. It wasn't terrifying to me, but it was very short to be pulling off any sort of plot twist, which you did remarkably. It was worth the whole two minutes I put into reading it, haha, and in those 300 words or less I thought I had missed something when it said she was laying in bed. No grammar problems minus the fact that you've used "pray" instead of "prey". Decent read. Negative I really don't have much to put into this bit, so I'll elongate it. The only real problem I had with this was unused potential. It could've been a decent full length pasta, but I realize that this is for, of course, the contest. Besides that, great job, well done, and good luck. -The Meta (AMarbleHornet (talk) 19:37, October 7, 2015 (UTC)) Story So, I dislike doing this, especially for an unfinished story, but this is one that feedback is very important on. I've gone ahead and uploaded the first three chapters of Oceanic to the writer's workshop, and I was wondering if you could give it a look. I haven't exactly had decades of free time to write, but I'd love any feedback I received. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:502601 ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 06:04, October 8, 2015 (UTC) No worries I'll check it out and leave you some feedback. K. Banning Kellum (talk) 22:02, October 11, 2015 (UTC) Oceanic Due to the timespan the story is taking to produce, I added the next chapter to the writer's workshop page. If you could look at it and offer some advice/criticism, that'd be absolutely fantastic. http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:502601#5 ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 17:35, October 20, 2015 (UTC) Oh are you talking about Spirit Bottles? That was a good one, so my comment was mostly a nitpick, but it was still something that stood out to me. Glad to be of service. Creepy Thomas O. (talk) 04:13, October 22, 2015 (UTC) CONGRATS Congratulations on making the top three! Any idea how you placed? You were listed third, so I assumed third place. Around here placing in a contest guarantees exposure, so hopefully you'll get to stay in the limelight awhile.--Mikemacdee (talk) 07:13, October 22, 2015 (UTC) PotM Pasta of the Month is kind of a joke at this point, so don't feel too bad about it. --Mikemacdee (talk) 08:21, October 22, 2015 (UTC) You are my new best friend. Thank you for all your support. I'm a fan.Tkopico (talk) 19:04, October 22, 2015 (UTC) Your Name & User Pages Hey Johnathan, I noticed you are leaving a few people messages about using your name in their user pages. They're actually doing that via a template we have - - that outputs the username of whoever's viewing the page. For example, while this - - will say JohnathanNash to you, it says "Underscorre" to me. So, those people don't actually include your name on their userpage :) I don't know if you'll be interested in this, but we create this functionality with a little bit of JavaScript located here. | creepypasta.wikia.com | I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! | [[User:Underscorre|'Under']][[User talk:Underscorre|'Scorre']] }} 06:39, October 23, 2015 (UTC) Hey! I'm just going to let the above shout tell you what I was originally here to tell you. But, it's nice to meet you! --Shadowpuppy270343 (talk) 21:21, October 23, 2015 (UTC) Yes, Florida has prepared me for my long stint in hell, when the time comes. Strangly enough I am right outside of Ocala, in Belleview. I might be stuck here for a while since my daughters both go to school here and love it. But someday I hope to get my ass to a much colder climate. My heart is in Maine and that's where I hope to end up. Clearwawter is one of the better areas of this hellish state but I've been to Tennessee, and it's beautiful. I do adore Mountains. Thanks again for your encouragement. I may take you up on your offer on helping me navigate this writing world. I wasn't lying when I said , I've never set any of my stories into the world. I've been writing for myself forever but I was a sissy baby about showing people. I'd like to continue, even if it's just on a small intimate writting forum.. Oceanic Hello, Johnathan. Oceanic, the story you showed a good amount of interest in, and helped provide feedback whilst it was in the Writer's Workshop, has been finished and uploaded. I hope you enjoy. ShawnHowellsCP (talk) 02:31, November 10, 2015 (UTC) So, you asked about how I know you, User: . That's actually done with the USERNAME Template. Anyway, goodbye, and good luck using it! xXAce_MNoDeadXx 02:15, November 12, 2015 (UTC) Your story in the WW Hey, I'll try to get to it either later today or possibly tomorrow when I have some free time. Re: New Story in WW I'll take a look. SoPretentious 23:04, December 10, 2015 (UTC) I'd love to take a look at your story, Mr. Tarbell It is going to take me a minute or two. Jammed packed right now with a heavy, heavy reading list. Have you ever heard of bizarro fiction? It's this hot new writing style, very creepypastaish, blending horror and crime fiction with the strange and surreal. If you have a Kindle, The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade is for free on kindle unlimited. Anyway, I'm taking a bizarro writing class with J. Osbourne, a well known bizarro writer and publisher, right now, and have to read the assignements of the other sixteen class members as well as assigned reading. Plus I've got my dirty claws on several writing projects. But rest assured, I will get to it soon. I love your work and look forward to it, my friend. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 02:52, December 11, 2015 (UTC) No worries I'll be happy to review your story, although it may be a few days. I recently started a new job and the hours are beyond brutal. Haven't had much time for anything besides work and sleep. Once things level out though, I'll be more involved again. K. Banning Kellum (talk) 03:06, December 11, 2015 (UTC) RE RE How'd I know who your avatar was? Simple: MAGIC. Yeah, my manuscript is at just over 85,000 words and I'm trying to find the motivation to polish and edit it up to standards. It's about hippies who move deep into the woods to take over a haunted indoor marijuana grow surrounded by speed freaks and scary rednecks. Imagine The Shining meets Requiem for a Dream meets Breaking Bad. I've been working on it nearly two years and I'm afraid by the time I finish it pot is going to be completely legal and the story out of date. Lol. I haven't posted any pastas recently, but if you are looking for something to read The Gym Teacher is my most popular story, and my personal favorite is Under a Rotting Sky. I'd love to hear what you think. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 17:46, December 11, 2015 (UTC) Review Hi Jonathan, I would really appreciate your input into a new story of mine. It's a new spin on a ritual pasta. I am trying to take overused pasta formulas and formats and make something new and different. Possibly even unique. My Story is called Body Lice. thanks http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:517138 KillaHawke1 (talk) 00:31, December 22, 2015 (UTC) RE Avatar You are absolutely right, my friend!! Good eye. I LOVE John Waters flicks, Female Trouble, Polyester, and Desperate Living are some of my all time favorite movies. I like his newer, more tamer ones as well. But the ones with Divine--oh my, oh my, so very, very NSFW. Dude, I just realized I was supposed to look at one of your stories in the WW. Did you post it to the wiki? Send me a link and I'll check it out. Sorry, I spaced out. I've been crazy busy, but managing to do a lot of writing somehow, unfortunately not much reading. I made a crazy video and a website for a pasta. So much fucking fun, it's over here, check it out: Daddy's Little Princess. Tell me what you think of the website, I actually suck at computers and am stoked on it. If you get a chance check out the story as well, I think it's one of my best. Ciao for now, amigo. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 04:56, January 12, 2016 (UTC) thankya john It sort of recently dawned on me that most wannabe pasta authors only ever read fanfiction and creepypasta, and that's a major reason why they botch it so hard.--Mikemacdee (talk) 03:43, January 16, 2016 (UTC) RE: Thanks Don't worry about it. I haven't checked out yet, but I will after I read Banning's latest story. I'll let you know what I think of it then. Have a nice one. MrDupin (talk) 23:40, January 23, 2016 (UTC) Please do not send death threats I am honored, I am lying, I will try to review your stories even though they look like your favorites. If I hurt your feeling then, then its your fault for not listening to the cliche catch phrase "Be Careful What You Wish For." Do I judge fairly, not really. I wish I could say I was getting paid to do this, but then i'd be lying for no reason at all. This is judged by my personal opinon but then again so does every other critic. Sorry, United Passions, the bad FIFA movie, I guess producing a movie about yourself isn't that great of an idea. If my spelling is off, do not complain. Yes, it is pathetic, but I am not going to spend hours writing a comment which I already do feel like I do especially when I accidentially delete it and have to do it again. And let's just say I can't edit every little thing or the system would be overloaded and I would be free game for every admin. They have teeth and can ban someone for a whole month or just delete your account if they want to. My point is do not piss them off. They have no problem fighting with eachother why would they care about fighting anyone else. Although most are helpful. Also death threats will not be appreciated. If your being sarcastic please tell me, or I will ask if your being sarcastic or the admins. Nice guys, If you stories are not all reviewed in one day don't complain. I try to keeep it slow, constant, and steady. I can't spend all day reviewing stories. This better not be Slender Man, or Jeff the Killer rip offs. Because there is an entire site devoted to them. Please do not include real television episodes that damaged you or shitty zombie stories. Also I hate stories where they try to impersonate a child or that are all cliche, and ones that are not scary or have no purpose at all on this website. I also tend not to do stories that are too long but I try. I often watch videos of them sometimes instead of read them. Damnit, I created an extremly long paragraph you probably won't even read. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 00:15, January 29, 2016 (UTC) Once Upon a Time I reviewed your one of your stories. Hopefully, you are not mad. I can be confusing. Now my name is an easy riddle which has been figured out before. But It probably isn't my real name. Hopefully you don't really want my name, if you do than I suggest you join the sex offenders list. Call Toll Free 518-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257 to join. I would not call if you think that it is a fake number because its not.တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 00:17, January 29, 2016 (UTC)518-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257. 518-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257.518-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257. 518-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257.518-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257.5 18-457-5837 or 1-800-262-3257. :His name translates to Milk Crate by the way :) [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 00:38, January 29, 2016 (UTC) ::No need to thank me :) Burmese, I believe. [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 01:05, January 29, 2016 (UTC) :::Sorry, Nash. I was admittedly feeling a little bit ornery today :P I admittedly do not know what it says, but I do believe the language is Burmese (I think Empyre might be able to translate the name for you if you truly want to know). [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 03:47, January 29, 2016 (UTC) Milk Carton Curious how you found out about me in the first place. Also I don't got milk. Nice to know that someone thinks my account's name is milk carton. Or Milk Crate. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 03:15, January 29, 2016 (UTC) Stories and Things I've seen you around a lot, but I never had anything to say for the discussions you had on the forums. Thanks, that's really nice to hear. Sure, I'll look over a couple more tomorrow. I've liked the two that I read To the Moon and Withdrawals. If you are up for it, could you give this a read for me, please: Crossing the Line ? I haven't had a lot of feedback on that one. Well, I'm going to go write for a few minutes and then go to sleep. [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 07:10, January 29, 2016 (UTC) :Thanks! Oh, speak your mind! If you have something to say, especially negative, it is important to say it so that improvements can be made. Never apologize for trying to help me improve :) [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 07:15, January 30, 2016 (UTC) If I told you who I was I would have to kill you So much for the NSA. They know that I know aliens are real. The CIA refuses to except that fishes can talk. Mumble, mumble, mumble. Lets build a wall, say the Earth is flat, that the pyramid's were used to store grain, and listen to Taylor Swift music. Good to know that people randomly check other stories to see if people rate them. I hope I wasn't too unfavorable and maybe lived up to your standards. Also don't call that number. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 01:07, January 30, 2016 (UTC) I'll try to review another one of your stories tommorow unless you don't want me too. If you do then I'll delete the names. But if I find them through the random pasta I will still judge them. But the chance are 2000/1 or less. I'm afraid not Stories take time to read and it is getting close to 8.00 which although not that late. I don't like spending hours reviewing stories. Great to know my messages are cryptic. I don't blame you. A little kindness, sarcasm, jokes, roasting, and what ever else I put into them can be confusing. Also they are intellionally meant to be vague, confusing, and some times a little misleading. We all have our secrets. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 01:27, January 30, 2016 (UTC) Just because you don't sign anything doesn't mean I don't know its you Well judged another one of your storys. I know your the one who left the post about following me around in a ski mask despite the fact you didn't sign it whether that was intential or untintential. Remember they will still know it was you. PS. Read the whole comment, don't skip to the bottom, on the rating message. Almost 5:00 got a show to watch. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 00:41, January 31, 2016 (UTC) I'll Try to do the Last Story this Week To the Moon. It is a long one but I'll read it. I also learned not to play russian roulete, eat marshmallow squares, go to abandoned soccer fields, or trust 6th grade teachers. What will the next stories bring. This week is sunday-saturday. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 19:07, January 31, 2016 (UTC) Tommorow, Tommorow Sorry if I appeared a little too hostile while talking about the unsigned comment. I just got a little annoyed because I thought I might have to worry about a user stalking me all day long. Which is not a very pleasant thought. I will try to review your story tommorow. I just haven't reviewed it because I'm busy and it takes a while to read the more normal sized stories. Well I presume you still exist and want me to review the final story. Which I can't remember off the top of my head. Something about the moon. Stay golden. Well I managed to sound like some cheesy celebrity from the 80s, you're welcome. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 00:55, February 6, 2016 (UTC) I am done, may you have a good time Sad;y, I have no excuse to talk to you anymore. I get bored. Also as you can tell I can be fun and a little too sarcastic once I actually talk to the people. Not quite as angry and scary as I am when reviewing unfavorable stories. The final one was manificent. Better than Voice Messages or Voice Mails and Spirit Bottles. Voice Mails was the scariest of the three but To the Moon was a far better story than the other two. I do admit it was pretty long which cause me to delay reading it but it was a well thought of piece. You seem to be good with variety. Voice Message: Mental Illness and Monsters, Spirit Bottles: Ghosts or Spirits, and Witches, To the Moon: Alien Spores, Alternate History, and Prison Inmates. Although the inmate thing has been done before like in Death Race. But this story is much more complex and overall better thought of. Barely reminds me of another authors story The Bigger Stick. Which although not as well though of, it has an alternate history, involves sentient life forms, the government, and is a lot shorter than your story. I do feel sorry for the fact you will have to read this long message along with the one I left in the comments section of your story To the Moon. Well, good luck. Although I may not have been the biggest fan of Spirit Bottles, I got what you were going for, and admired the effort. I like the method you write. I believe you call it lovecraftian horror. Personally I don't know much about H.P Lovecraft the strange, and highly regarde author. I know he was big on aliens, science fiction, and opening gateways to other dimensions. Also that he invented fish monster aliens and something referred to as the Old Ones who supposely pre exist the universe and locked up a fish monster alien, who former alien followers have created a cult for him and seek to let him free. I could be pretty wrong but thats what happens when you watch a spoof or comedy movie based on H.P Lovecraft. And get the rest of the facts off of television. Oh go, what a long message. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 23:53, February 6, 2016 (UTC) But come one there isn't enough ax wielding maniacs I suggest Hostel, a movie all about torture, and Hatcher: a gory movie that even has ax in the name. They're great achievements in cinema. Oh, wait, what, one's a rip off of Jason Voorhees and the other is just a sick, twisted movie that has nothing to do about horror. RIP: Wes Craven. Why couldn't they take John Carpenter instead. But seriousily John Carpenter made a lot of bad movies, he made a movie about Elvis which although isn't bad still he makes horror movies, tons of b movies, action flicks. Way too many Michael Myers movies. The one movie to have a remake of a remake of a remake besides the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Today, I read about amusement parks, ice cream trucks, and dreams of torture and rape victims. Thats what you get when you read creepy pastas every day. Sometimes you read the goofiest stories, that sometimes have no place on this wiki. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 16:43, February 7, 2016 (UTC) Review is up I forgot to tell you, but I finally reviewed your John's Story. MrDupin (talk) 21:53, February 8, 2016 (UTC) Hello again Well, inside my life of reviewing. It can be frustrating when you see pastas that seem way too similar to ones you have already read. It is hard to find somewhat good ones and extremly hard to find amazing ones. I have read a lot of weird stories, numerous Jeff the Killer ripoffs, Slenderman ripoffs, and a SCP ripoff. Here is an example of how widely diffrent some stories are: red eyes, black eyes, and the stranger stories. Welcome to the strange files. Tree comes alive, is self aware, falls in love with girl, guy picks on girl, tree preys too God for him to help him, he comes alive kills guy, frightens everyone including the girl, he realizes he would still be alive if he didn't bother with trying to fall in love with a human, and then tree is incinerated by teenagers. Man believes aliens poisoned water, with a substance that will gradually over time make humans stupider because aliens believe humans are too dangerous, but along with that he know this because God told him, and lives in a mental hospital. School teacher goes bersek poisons her children's food, throws their bodies in the dumpster, and then waits to do it to the next class. And thats just 3 of about 25 or more strange stories. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 18:39, February 14, 2016 (UTC) Suggestions I'm guessing that means no Jeff the Killer or Slederman Ripoffs, Stories Involving Black, Yellow , or Red Eyes, and stories told from the point of view of a 5 year old, dang it. Marshmallow Squares: A little kooky but gets the message across. A Bigger Stick: An historcial fiction story. Smile Dog: Probably alreadly read. The Coliseum: Not bad, needs a little work. Full Moon Pictures: A little unnerving and unsettling. The Christimas Tree: A little corny, but tries its best to distiquish itself from the others. Kuchisake-Onna: Probably have read, one of the better Japanese horror stories. PS. You missed it, a hacker screwed with this wiki, Brickleberries, and one called Shadowfalls. Although whatever Shadowfalls is was fixed. Mainly messed with the forums although on Brickleberries he messed with some of the articles. I believe he is banned on all 3 wikis. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 23:38, February 15, 2016 (UTC) Don't blame for not trying to read everystory on this wiki After reviewing, how many stories, 96, will probably be 99 at the end of the day. It is easy to give up hope especially when you have read as many stories as I have. They all start to sound the same or worse a lot of them make you wonder who in the hell thought this was a good idea. Well, you'll never know only less of course they proudly claimed credit for their so called work of "art". Don't even try to message them, you want to. But then you'll be tempted to read more of their stories, which you don't want to do. Or even worse, see how many of their stories have been deleted, and see their bad requests, demanding that their bad stories be put back on the wiki. တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 17:12, February 20, 2016 (UTC) Re: Of course I will take a look at them. I've been a bit busy, but I will make sure to get to your stories soon. Thank you for the requests, I'm happy to take them. AGrimAuxiliatrix1 (talk) 19:11, February 20, 2016 (UTC) Me again Also the holder series is quite good, if you've never read any of them တရားသူကြီးကို တစ်ဖက်သတ်အစွဲ (talk) 18:42, March 10, 2016 (UTC) Hello Thanks for your comment. I have four stories over on CP.com, which are the same four I have on my profile here. I've got one on Crappypasta.com too, http://www.crappypasta.com/best-friends-3/, which is the only story that actually has some personal meaning for me. It was my first attempt at fiction, or at least my first serious attempt in adulthood. I also have several half-written stories on my computer, just waiting for the day that I can muster up the motivation to finish them. And who knows when that will be... I've got a seven week old son who takes up the majority of my free time. I've also been contemplating creating a collection of short stories that take place in The Seer of Possibilities universe, which would probably be sold through Createspace on Amazon if I manage to create a product I'm happy with. In the end, I don't really consider myself a "writer." This is just a hobby that I seem to have a natural inclination for. You should definitely submit the rest of your stories to CP.com. In fact, I believe the submission period will open in just a couple of days. That site is a good compliment to this one, with unrivaled exposure among CP related hangouts. The quality standards seem to be about equal to here, especially considering the recent efforts to clean this place up. Creepy Thomas O. (talk) 20:02, March 13, 2016 (UTC) Re: Poetry I responded on your WW post, sorry it's not better news, but we have to be pretty stringent in regards to poetry. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:18, June 10, 2016 (UTC) :Yeah, I fancied myself a bit of a poet when I was younger and there's nothing quite as cringe-inducing as looking over those. Poetry seems to be a bit of a mixed bag. Some poems on this site are excellent, but as I was sorting through them, I found a lot more that just reminded me of how hard it can be to make a poem that flows naturally and has a lyrical quality. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:23, June 10, 2016 (UTC) ::Yeah, I wish there was some advice I could give you on shortening stories, but that is clearly not my forte. I guess you could focus on a theme and break it into a collection. I did that with a few of my anthologies on the site with relative success. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:32, June 10, 2016 (UTC) :::Best of luck with your story, I always tend to finish up my stories (even if I just pitch them later) as it's good exercise and teaches you what your weak points in writing are. (Mine as it turns out is: grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, tense consistency, character development, dialogue, and coherent story-writing.) One I'm working on now is likely going into the pit. It's an interesting premise, but the execution is difficult. I find it easier to deal with stories one at a time so I can focus on them fully and edit/add on to them later. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:48, June 10, 2016 (UTC) Have a good one. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:14, June 10, 2016 (UTC) I already had provided a link in the describtion of my video but I added a personal mention of you. I am really sorry if I did you injustice. It's important to me not to "steal" anything and be respektful to the author. Thats why I especially looked out for CC- Content. Thanks for your appreciation! Greetings, ActionAlpacca (talk) 11:30, June 10, 2016 (UTC) Narration Request Hello, I was wondering if you would mind terribly if I performed your story Voice Messages as a submission to Chilling Tales for Dark Nights' first Evil Idol competition. Thank you, The Torso Boy (talk) 03:54, June 20, 2016 (UTC) Re: Request Greetings, Thank you for taking the time to write me back. While I'm not a narrator for Chilling Tales for Dark Nights yet, I would like to be and they are hosting a voice acting competition called Evil Idol. For the second round (if I make it that far) I would like to use your story, Voice Messages, as my entry. You will be credited as the author of the story, without a doubt. Thank you again for taking the time to write me back and consider my request. Best Regards , The Torso Boy (talk) 17:14, June 20, 2016 (UTC) :I'm actually pretty busy at the moment. I'll try to get around to it later in the week, but I can't make any real promises. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:31, June 21, 2016 (UTC) RE: Feedback I will try to get around to reading your story, but I'm afraid I'm in the middle of exam period and I don't have much spare time. Probably this weekend I will have some free time, but I can't promise much. MrDupin (talk) 16:21, June 21, 2016 (UTC) RE Shoot me your email or send me a message so I can respond to humboldtlycanthrope at gmail dot com. I got an opportunity for you that I think you are going to like. HumboldtLycanthrope (talk) 18:08, June 21, 2016 (UTC) Spirited Competition Sure thing! I don't know if I'll actually be competing against you or not as I may have to drop out. Nearly all of my attention has been focus on writing 'Ikarigatari'. Anywho, I'll try to get it read and give you feedback by the end of tomorrow! If you have the time, would you please give me some feedback on this: http://pastebin.com/yY5YHP7L ? Regardless of your choice, I'll read yours and give you feedback :) [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up!']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 21:32, June 21, 2016 (UTC) :Firstly, thank you for the taking the time to read through 28 pages of something that's unfinished XD You didn't come across as harsh at all, I really appreciate that you gave me your full on honest opinion, rather than sugar coating things. :I can try to work in the description of Phoenix differently as I don't want it to come across confusing, but I see it as necessary that it comes off as a living thing, because it ends up being built up like it is a living, breathing thing (which will be more of a major plot point toward the end of the story). As for it being set in ancient times, that is incorrect, it actually takes place on another planet and perhaps even an alternate timeline. I hint at it with the mention of a blue sun twice and named dropped the planet, Aranthar, once, though I did consider that it was possible for readers to interpret that as being the name of the country instead. So things are both similar and different from how they are here on Earth because that society has gone through different changes and such. :Dialogue is arguably my weakest point, but it may be on par with description for that. I've always found it hard to give identifiers of who is talking beyond throwing in a name or a reaction that would be obvious for the applicable person. It's very hard for me to give people a bunch of motivation and personality, but to make it identifiable as to whom is talking. Due to that, I try to only have two people involved in a conversation at once and rotate between them. I tried to have Ikari, the protagonist, always give it straight, while Niska was always intended as a more eloquent speaker and the blacksmith, Kujo, was given some slang so that it was easiest to identify her. I'll try to work on that and improve it, but I generally can't do better than that at this point. I have to find a way that makes it easier to tell whom is speaking. :I am very glad to hear that you thought the story flowed nicely and that you found the characters to be multi-dimensional as those were my two main concerns :D I'm wanting to keep the story simple in that it is, "I want my sword back!" and not a "I must save the world!" type of story. Thank you so much for reading it and leaving me feedback! I'm really happy that you enjoyed it :) [[User:Doom Vroom|'Buckle up!']] [[User talk:Doom Vroom| I'm going to be popular]] 04:08, June 22, 2016 (UTC) Re: Riff Raff Hey Johnathan, I was actually surprised that no one else took that username when I chose it. Anyways, good to know that there's someone else from upstate NY on here. Liberty is actually a couple hours away from me, but I've never been there myself, so the odds of me potentially being around your buddies are unfortunately nonexistent. Nonetheless, thanks for extending greetings to a fellow upstate New Yorker. [[User:Dr. Frank N. Furter|"Don't get hot and flustered,]] [[User talk:Dr. Frank N. Furter|'use a bit of' mustard!"]] 03:43, June 22, 2016 (UTC) Archiving Have you thought of archiving your talkpage Johnathan? It's getting pretty damn long, I've noticed. RuckusQuantum 11:59, June 22, 2016 (UTC)